Poem 31

Here's something I wrote at the tender age of 20. At the time I was still heavily under the spell of e.e. cummings, but I rarely wrote this way. I must say his poems were usually more coherent, but I like the lack of coherence (and punctuation) for this one. I retooled this one very little for posting here, but that may be mostly because I don't really know what to change without changing the effect. I think the effect was to convey how quickly a summer day in my childhood felt when remembered. I'm sure they mostly dragged on.
I think I wrote this after trying to take a nap on a sunny day.

Retina (a day in June)

Hotwater magma pavement
leap barefeet onto grass
greengreengreen
sprungtime here and went
out sliding glass doors
into swimsitpools
in backyards and to the
waterslides in the Valley
closed eyes to sun
so red I can see veins
flashfire for retina
bicycle curbhooping,
up and down the block
hurryrushing over pavement
splotched black with
drying water till swingset
and dad’shome